Warcraft Movie Review

Genre: Action/fantasy
Year: 2016
Rating: M
Runtime: 123 minutes
Main Cast: Travis Fimmel
Paula Patton
Ben Foster
Dominic Cooper
Main Production Companies:Legendary Pictures,
Blizzard Entertainment
Written by: Charles Leavitt, Duncan Jones
Directed by: Duncan Jones

warcraft-movie-poster

Written by Nelson Cumming

I have a problem with movie adaptations if none of the elements from the source material translates well on the big screen for a casual viewer. The reason is because it’s like running into a brick wall that simply won’t budge. That is a situation that I experienced with Warcraft. Warcraft is boring for a plethora of reasons and is a cross between Gods of Egypt and The Divergent Series: Allegiant in terms of its atmosphere of boring CGI overload crossed in with actors acting like the story has substance. If you do not understand what MMORPG stands for it is likely you are not the demographic it’s going after. I think it will satisfy fans of the franchise but there is little for anyone else to enjoy.

Looking to escape from his dying world, the orc shaman Gul’dan utilizes dark magic to open a portal to the human realm of Azeroth. Gul’dan organizes the orc clans into a conquering army called the Horde. King Llane, the mighty warrior Anduin Lothar (Travis Fimmel) and the powerful wizard Medivh attempt to protect Azeroth. As the two races collide, leaders from each side start to question if war is the only answer.

At the start of the movie, they show a heavily pregnant orc go into a battleground, through a massive portal, then gets her first contractions. When she has her child, it looked like one of the babies in Shrek turned into a demon spawn and the leader of the orcs grabs the putrid baby and holds it high into the air in front of the tribe. This was like the scene in The Lion King where Rafiki the monkey is holding Simba at Pride Rock, only that in Warcraft, it is a hundred times more grotesque. Then the camera cuts to black and the title card shows “Warcraft” in big letters covering the screen as if I was going to see something epic…

At that point I thought “holy s***”, and not in a good way.

After that scene, I thought that this would be so bad that I would be entertained by its badness, but the movie was boring. All of the characters were uninteresting and one note, all the characters names have the middle ages names that are hard to remember (like Gul’dan, Garona, Medivh, Durotan, Khadgar) It also doesn’t help that all the Orcs look similar and that they have tooth rings on their overly large canines that distracted me throughout the movie.

I just thought the movie existed to show CGI. They make it very
apparent, especially in the scenes where the wizards showed their magic. The CGI is cool the first time you see it but gets boring and tiresome after awhile. It’s kind of like going on a Ferris wheel, the first time it is fun, the tenth time you get very bored and want to get off the thing. They have the same colour palette for every spell and that is while with a bright blue tinge like the texture of dry ice. The only time that is different occurs when the portal opens and admittedly that looked cool.

So I have pretty much painted the picture that the characters and the CGI are pretty much one-note, well so is the plot and character development and the action decent but not remarkable. But the story also plods on and on. They had scenes in the movie where they either cut or fade to black, making me believe the movie ended, only to find that they had another scene. That happened three times. It was a cocktease in my head. Actually, it was worse than a cocktease because a cocktease means that you were sexually attracted to someone only to find out that the partner had no interest in you, with Warcraft it is like teasing that the boredom and suffering were going to end, but it didn’t!

Warcraft will win over the hardcore gamers, I just know it. They will love it to bits. To me, it was just boring because of the plodding story, character development, the characters and the CGI mostly being one note and going on for too long. I heard a Youtube comment on critics channel saying the movie should be three to four hours long. I yelled “No!” at the screen. Half a star goes for the CGI working once in the movie. 1/2 *

P.S. For those who don’t know 1/2 * is not a typo for one and a half stars, that actually stands for half a star.

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